snuggling vs. creating a monster

just when i start getting the hang of this whole "baby" thing, violet decides to change everything up! when we first brought her home, she couldn't care less where she slept, she would snooze heavily in the middle of a crowded room! then in the name of "i'm-so-tired-i'm-about-to-cry-so-i'm-just-going-to-let-her-sleep-in-bed-with-me-so-i-don't-have-to-get-up", we sort of moved into a stage of sleeping half the night in her bassinet, and the other half in bed with me. fast forward to about a week or so ago. she now acts like she's never seen that bassinet and why on earth would i try to torture her by putting her there to sleep?! it's gotten so bad that she's now starting to demand to be held during her daily naps... which means i would NOT be able to function as an adult!! so i knew i had to do something. it's still a work in progress, but we're moving into her being able to sleep confidently in her bassinet again. phew!

although this is an achingly lovely feeling:


i'm afraid this is much better for my love life:


she's catching on really quickly, though, to going back to her bassinet, so i'm hopeful it's not going to be a long, painful process.

she's starting to smile so often now, and when it's paired with her new trick, cooing, i seriously get teary-eyed. it's the absolute most BREATHTAKINGLY PRECIOUS thing in the entire universe. brian and i try as hard as we can to get enough kisses, but we have yet to reach that limit. we just can't get enough of them. :)

(she was talking a lot more before i started recording, but you get a little taste)

she's also starting to slobber everywhere. she's getting pretty good at making spit-bubbles, too. :) she likes to suck and chew on my hand while i'm holding her in my lap, and it's the funniest thing. it feels so weird! she is obsessed with her pacifier, which is frustrating because she doesn't keep it in her mouth very well... we have to keep them all over the house and i have to hold my hand close to her mouth when she's fussy so she doesn't explode when it falls out. :) i am having the TIME OF MY LIFE getting to know her little personality. i love her so much it hurts!

on a more somber note, september was my due date the first time we got pregnant. the baby would've been turning 4 this month. i think about that baby all the time, and i wonder how life would be different with another child. although it still hurts, and this is always a hard month for me, i know that i cherish and appreciate every single second with violet in a way i don't know if i could having not gone through that. brian and i consider ourselves so very lucky to have such a beautiful, smart, healthy girl, and we don't forget for a moment how precious she really is.