survey from kristie's blog

A Marriage Survey

How did you meet your spouse?
we were in the same sociology class in high school- the first semester of my junior year and his senior year. we never talked in that class, but kept catching each other staring. :) i was the first one to say hi to him randomly in the hall- he was the first one to call and ask me out. after dating a few months, we broke up until over 2 years later, and i guess the second time was a charm for us! :)

How long have you been married?
5 years

What characteristics made you attracted to your spouse?
his confidence, his "tall, dark and handsome-ness," his humor, his intellect, his philosophies about life and politics, and that was just my first impression... :)

How long were you together before getting married?
3 years

How old were you and your spouse when you married?
few months shy of 22- he was 24 (WOW that's young!!)

If someone who has not met their soul mate and would like to find one, what would be your advice for them to meet their soul mate?
to find the right person you have to be realistic with your expectations (no one's perfect). allow someone to be who they are, and make sure they allow you to be who you are, and if you still want to spend every second with them, then you know you've found who you're looking for!

How long does it usually take you to get over an argument?
usually, about 10-15 minutes. we cool off in separate rooms and then we eventually just start talking again like nothing happened. :) no grudges!

What is your definition of marriage?
hmmmm... that's a good question. "legally," it's two people who sign a piece of paper that say they want to share everything about their lives with each other. "philosophically," it means that you've promised another person that out of all the people you've ever and will ever meet, you choose to be THEIR partner, no matter what. you choose to start a family together, a "team" if you will. you work to make sure both of you are happy as much as possible, and you understand that it's not always 50/50. compromise, understanding, forgiveness, humor, open-mindedness, honesty, and generosity should be feelings and actions that are always shown. a happy marriage is 2 people who freely and willingly do all those things with enthusiasm and conviction.

What do you think makes a successful marriage?
i guess i covered that in the last question, but i think the MAIN things that makes my marriage happy is always having realistic expectations- not wanting either person to change, and to know that humor will solve almost anything! also, cuddling is KEY. :)

who handles the finances? Why?
brian coordinates all bills being paid, because he's the more organized of the two of us. i know what's going on, but it's much more efficient for one person to handle it. i help MAKE the money that's used to pay the bills, so my part is covered... haha! :)

What is the most difficult thing about being married?
having to be selfless when you want to be selfish, and having to admit faults at your most stubborn moments- if even only to yourself. marriage makes you grow into a better person, so even though those are difficult things, they make me a better person, and i love brian for that. :)

what advice would you give about marriage?
split furniture up in your head all you want, but keep things in perspective- when you really love someone and are committed to them, all those petty arguments are just that- PETTY. don't bother with drawing them out too long. it won't "teach them a lesson," it'll just raise your blood pressure... ;) i find it most rewarding in the long run to concede and apologize when i least want to- your partner will notice and return the favor.

How long did you wait to have children?
it'll be 5 years and 2 months when violet is born. i like that we waited- we've had a great time getting to know each other in and out, and now we're so excited to have a whole new relationship with each other and this new little girl. we're about to learn a LOT more about each other, and i can't wait! brian's going to be such a great dad.

How far apart in age are your children?
let's see, emma is 7 1/2, speckles (we're guessing) is around 4 or 5, and violet is negative 4-5 weeks. :D